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III. ELEMENTARY
PRINCIPLES OF COMPOSITION
Rule 16: Keep Related Words Together
The position of the words in a sentence is the principal means of showing
their relationship. The writer must therefore, so far as possible, bring
together the words, and groups of words, that are related in thought, and keep
apart those which are not so related.
The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be
separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning.
- Wordsworth, in the fifth book of
The Excursion, gives a minute
description of this church.
- In the fifth book of
The Excursion, Wordsworth gives a minute
description of this church.
- Cast iron, when treated in a Bessemer converter, is changed into
steel.
- By treatment in a Bessemer converter, cast iron is changed into steel.
The objection is that the interposed phrase or clause needlessly interrupts
the natural order of the main clause. This objection, however, does not usually
hold when the order is interrupted only by a relative clause or by an expression
in apposition. Nor does it hold in periodic sentences in which the interruption
is a deliberately used means of creating suspense (see examples under Rule 18).
The relative pronoun should come, as a rule, immediately after its
antecedent.
- There was a look in his eye that boded mischief.
- In his eye was a look that boded mischief.
- He wrote three articles about his adventures in Spain, which were
published in Harper's Magazine.
- He published in Harper's Magazine three articles about his
adventures in Spain.
- This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, grandson of William Henry
Harrison, who became President in 1889.
- This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, grandson of William Henry
Harrison. He became President in 1889.
If the antecedent consists of a group of words, the relative comes at the end
of the group, unless this would cause ambiguity.
- A proposal to amend the Sherman Act, which has been variously judged
- A proposal, which has been variously judged, to amend the Sherman Act
- A proposal to amend the much-debated Sherman Act
- The grandson of William Henry Harrison, who
- William Henry Harrison's grandson, Benjamin Harrison, who
A noun in apposition may come between antecedent and relative, because in
such a combination no real ambiguity can arise.
- The Duke of York, his brother, who was regarded with hostility by the
Whigs
Modifiers should come, if possible next to the word they modify. If several
expressions modify the same word, they should be so arranged that no wrong
relation is suggested.
- All the members were not present.
- Not all the members were present.
- He only found two mistakes.
- He found only two mistakes.
- Major R. E. Joyce will give a lecture on Tuesday evening in Bailey
Hall, to which the public is invited, on "My Experiences in
Mesopotamia" at eight P. M.
- On Tuesday evening at eight P. M., Major R. E. Joyce will give in
Bailey Hall a lecture on "My Experiences in Mesopotamia." The
public is invited.
William
Strunk, Jr. (1869–1946).
The Elements of Style. 1918.
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